Uncle Henry's Bedtime Stories for Seniors
#1 The New Neighbors
Once upon a time, there were two upstanding Senior Citizens: Dick and Jane.
Dick was 80 years old and Jane was 77 years old. They had both been retired for a few years, and decided to downsize. They sold their home out in Providence Park and moved into a smaller house in trendy Midtown Mobile.
Dick and Jane were wise investors, with a diversified retirement plan with several sources of income, including mutual funds, indexed annuities, rental properties and their Social Security. Dick played golf twice a week and enjoyed working in the yard. Jane volunteered at the church two days a week, and also babysat her grandchildren regularly .Every couple of months they took vacation trips with friends to interesting places like Branson Missouri and Gatlinburg. They were living the retirement of their dreams.
Then one day they got new next door neighbors- Samantha and Peyton. Samantha and.Peyton were Millennials.
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Samantha was a barista and part time yoga instructor. Peyton was a website developer who wanted to write poetry. Samantha and Peyton both had prominent tattoos and had a "Meat is Murder" bumper sticker on their Jeep. The only owned one vehicle because they wanted to save the planet from climate change.
When Dick and Jane were walking their dog Sparkles one day, they waved at the Millenials, Samantha and Peyton, as they drove by. Samantha and Peyton looked right at Dick and Jane but did not return the wave. They just smirked. They were typical self absorbed Millennials and that made Dick and Jane sad.
One evening, when Dick and Jane were in their backyard watching the birds eat at their bird feeders, they noticed an unusual smell coming from Samantha and Peyton's house.
'What's that queer smell?" asked Jane.
:Dick sniffed a BIIIG sniff, and then said, " Jane, I think that is the odor of burning marijuana!"
'No!, " said Jane, shocked to the core of her being.
"Yes!", cried Dick. " I remember the smell from years ago, back when I attended concerts at the Municipal Auditorium! Those Millennials are drug addicts! They are smoking marijuana cigarettes RIGHT NEXT DOOR!"
Dick and Jane rushed inside, and Dick used his landline phone to call the Mobile Police.
In just five minutes, Officer Trueheart drove up to Samantha and Peyton's house. He did not arrest Samantha and Peyton but he did talk to them for over an hour, and four other patrol cars showed up and parked in the street, which made Dick and Jane very happy. After the police left, Dick and Jane could hear the Millenials, Samantha and Peyton, screaming at each other in a huge argument. That made Dick and Jane very happy.
After that night, Samantha and Peyton put a "For Sale" sign in their yard, sold their house in eight weeks, and moved out.... and Dick and Jane lived happily ever after.
The End.