Dear Pitiful, Quarantined Freak,
I understand that you are losing your mind because you are in quarantine. You are bored. You ran out of interesting ideas days ago. You binge-watched trash like the Tiger Man Show on Netflix. You are at your wits end. You probably have given up on grooming, and have an odor.
Calm down! I AM HERE TO HELP YOU, YOU NUT!
I have compiled a few free things you can watch online while you are in quarantine. These tv showsand movies have my personal Seal of Approval. You will not find cusswords or graphic nudity in any of my suggestions. You can watch these videos with your kids or grandkids, and it will not harm their minds.
TOP FIVE THINGS I WANT YOU TO WATCH WHILE YOU'RE IN QUARANTINE
5- ERNEST GOES TO SCHOOL
What a magnificent comedian Ernest was... and is! Below, you'll find a full Ernest movie that you can watch, for free, with your childreng. I believe that Ernest was criminally underrated, and should have at the very least won an Oscar for his hilarious acting. The movie below is especially poignant because it deals with school... something that has been cancelled for the rest of the year!
4- JOHNNY CARSON INTERVIEWS DON RICKLES WITH GLEN CAMPBELL
This should be self- explanatory: Johnny Carson, the greatest tv host of all time, interviews the greatest insult comic of all time, Don Rickles, with one of the greatest all-around entertainers of all time- Glen Campbell! And Dom DeLuise is a bonus! Watch the clip below and you will begin to understand why the current late night hosts are just plain crappy. Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon have never come close to producing anything as good as the video below:
3- MOBILE TV LEGEND DOT MOORE INTERVIEWED BY ME
Yes, I included my old tv show on this list. And I did it so that you can remind yourself of the charm and elegance of Dot Moore. I miss Dot Moore. Mobile needs someone like Dot Moore!
2-WHAT'S MY LINE FEATURING GROUCHO!
Once upon a time, game shows were NOT stupid. I know it sounds crazy, but game shows used to exist that featured smart, witty people, who dressed up to be on tv! Below is an episode of What's My Line, featuring Groucho Marx as a panelist, and the mystery guest is Claudette Colbert! If you are a moron, please watch the show below in it's entirety so that you can raise your intelligence level.
1- THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
Everything was great about this show.
The concept is spectacular, and the humor still holds up today in modern times!
The cast is marvelous, especially Irene Ryan as Granny Clampett. She deserved every award possible for her outstanding performance.
The music was also some of the best ever heard on network television.
WATCH IT! This episode involves Granny's tonic...
