Halloween Costumes for Babies Are Ridiculous

posted by Uncle Henry - 

When I visited my local Big Box Department store to buy a variety of medical ointments and salves, I was discouraged and irritated to see numerous Halloween costumes for babies! BABIES? 

I have always disliked Halloween, for obvious reasons. It has demonic roots, and Trick or Treat is legalized extortion. 

I have also found it disgusting when people abuse their pets by dressing them up in costumes. Your dog doesn't want to be dressed as a cupcake. It would rather eat the cupcake.

Now people are dressing their poor infant babies in costumes. I find that even MORE disgusting than putting a dog in the costume. The poor pitiful baby will one day grow up to be an adult human, and then see the old pictures of itself dressed as a pirate, or dressed like Superbaby, and the adult human will be embarrassed by the spectacle. They will realize that they were exploited for the entertainment of their parents and other ne'er-do-well adults. This could cause the adult human to feel repressed anger begin to rise up from within, and who knows what kind of volcanic problem may erupt?

Look at the picture below of the baby dressed as a PIG. How nasty is that? How embarrassing for the baby! Pigs are food! Bacon! Sausage! More Bacon! It is outrageous that a parent would dress their baby as a PIG! 


And look at this costume below- someone is dressing their baby as a DEER.  What kind of bizarre parent would do that? It is ridiculous, and , it seems to be semi-pagan, or full-blown pagan, depending on the inclinations of the reckless parent. I do not approve of putting antlers on a baby, even felt antlers. 

I DO APPROVE of the costume below, the costume of an infant in an Alabama Crimson Tide elephant. This costume can be used to subconsciously teach your baby to love the Crimson Tide, which is a good thing to do for your child. 

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