My Favorite Hurricane Foods

posted by Uncle Henry - 

As we face tropical weather, and watch Tropical Storm Gordon approach the Gulf Coast, my mind turns to thoughts of food.  ( To be frank, my thoughts turn towards food every hour of every day.)


I've listened to interviews with people in grocery store parking lots, with those people describing the food they have purchased in preparation for the tropical storm/ possible hurricane. Those interviews provoked me ( and my hunger,)   causing me to weigh in on the topic.


MY FAVORITE HURRICANE FOODS


1- SPAM

SPAM is a wonderful ham/pork blend of ingredients that helped "Make America Great To Begin With. " Even though it was invented in 1937, it gained popularity during World War 2 and helped us defeat the Axis powers. It is a quintessential American food.  Anyone who turns their nose up at SPAM is a snooty elitist, and should be looked at with suspicion.

Nowadays, SPAM is available in a variety of flavors, and also with less fat, so there is no good reason to avoid SPAM as a hurricane food. 


2- VIENNA SAUSAGES

"What are Vienna Sausages made of?" Why do you ask? Are you trying to start trouble? 

Vienna Sausages are delicious, and have a delightful and confounding combination of unique taste and unique texture. They are good nutrition during a hurricane, and can be used as a treat for little kids and dogs. 

Vienna Sausages also come in a wide variety of flavors, so there is no good reason for a patriotic American to avoid Vienna Sausages, unless that person wants to start trouble.


3-DEVILED HAM

Deviled Ham and other spreadable potted meats are outstanding utility foods that are adaptable and can be used in a wide variety of hurricane situations.  You can spread it on bread, you can spread it on a cracker, you can eat it with a spoon.  I like it so much, I wish they had named it, "Angel Ham" instead of Deviled Ham. 


4- LITTLE DEBBIE SNACK CAKES

When you need a quick sugar energy boost, perhaps to remove tree limbs from your yard, the Little Debbie Snack Cakes can be consumed easily.  Because I am an Older American, I like all varieties of sugary Little Debbie products, especially the Swiss Rolls, the Nutty Bar peanut butter chocolate things, and the Honey Buns.  I believe the first time I became obese as an adult, it was obesity brought on by the Swiss Rolls.  Anytime I feel like I need to gain weight, I know I can turn to Little Debbie to bloat me up in a hurry.  Plus, Nick Saban eats Little Debbie Cakes. 


5- BEER

I do not want to drink beer during a hurricane because my mother taught me when I was a little child that men who drink beer during hurricanes are bums, and their families will lose everything because the daddy is a beer drinking bum.

However, I do think it is important to have beer during a hurricane because you may need to use it as something you can barter with... essentially, beer becomes money after a storm. You may be able to purchases food, batteries or water if you have beer to trade to the savage beer-swilling masses. 








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